There are so many questions to answer when having a wedding where two faiths are represented, or two cultures, or both, or multiple!!

It is important to be able to find a balance that works for you, for your guests, and doesn’t upset either family too much!!  This series of posts will give you an idea of where to get started on planning your perfectly mashed-up wedding.

What is Most Important

For any scenario, start with you and your fiance making a list of what is most important to you about the ceremony and the wedding in general. It might be going through vows, having certain music or readings, wearing traditional dress, following various cultural traditions, or elements of the wedding space itself. It might be having your favorite food or drinks, having or not having traditional wedding parties, size of the wedding, what city you want the wedding in, etc. Narrow it down to 3-5 items each. I’d recommend making your lists separately, and then discussing it together and seeing what is similar and what clashes exist.

Budget

Next you want to set a realistic budget. What are you willing to compromise on to meet your budget? Do you have family helping you out? How much say do you want to give any family that is contributing? Regardless of your financial situation, it is a good idea to discuss the budget at the start of planning, so you can set guidelines and expectations. You may not have an idea at the start of your wedding planning as to how much it all costs - but people get married at EVERY budget.  There are always creative ways to make things work.

Guest List

This is also an important first step and will help you get an idea of where to have your wedding. Putting together a spreadsheet of each of your families, friends, kids, family friends will help get you your max # of guests. As venues are often the trickiest part of cultural weddings due to size and food restrictions - you need to be aware of how many people you’d likely invite for any part of the wedding. Separate your lists into “must invite” and “would like to invite”; eventually you might separate your ceremony/reception lists . Another important consideration when it comes to lists are will kids be invited or not.

Figure it Out

If you realize what is most important to each of you clashes with each other, or if you realize your idea of a wedding is on two different financial levels, or if one person wants to invite the world and the other wants immediate family - it sets the stage for a discussion and a compromise.

With differences in how you imagine the wedding, you may make a decision to have 2 ceremonies. Two ceremonies may be completely distinct, or they may be back to back. Various religious venues or clergy may also have restrictions on what they will or will not do in terms of one or two ceremonies. If you realize that you are not limited to all the processes of either ceremony, but want certain aspects represented, then a blended ceremony could work well. Budget and timing may also come into play. A blended ceremony will likely be the least expensive, and require the least amount of time for you and your guests, but it will also require a good amount of thought and planning. (Something we at Kahani can help you with!!)

Coming up…Blended and Separate Ceremonies