I will note that with some religious traditions and/or in a religion based venue (church, temple, etc), it may be very difficult to complete a blended or back-to-back ceremony with two differing religions. Some may only be open to adding a passage or reading or certain aspect of one ceremony into their own - some may not allow any deviation. It’s important to discuss with your partner how closely you want to follow any religious boundaries & traditions, and make sure you find a venue and officiant that is willing to accommodate.

How to plan? Blended Ceremonies

Once you have made the decision on ceremony type, you have to plan out how to carry it out. A blended ceremony can be harder to implement. First step - finding the pastor, priest, rabbi, the officiant who will perform the whole wedding or work together with another to create a meaningful ceremony for both of you. This may mean meeting with them several times over the course of planning (and allowing for a bit of extra payment). As one may not have knowledge of both/multiple traditions, as a couple you may need to research and gather information on various ceremonies. Some officiants may help with this and send you useful information or structures of similar weddings they performed, some may want that guidance from you. Many planners can help with this as well. Typically there are so many aspects to weddings that are universal in nature, so you can break it apart into the pieces that are meaningful for both of you, that honor both your cultures and religious beliefs, and create your own unique ceremony.  

How to plan? Separate ceremonies

Separate ceremonies can be more expensive, as you would have another officiant, and you may opt for another venue, outfit, meal, etc. If you choose to use the same venue, will you want a break in between ceremonies? Will one ceremony be significantly longer than the other? Will you want a change in decor or outfits? Will you want separate pictures in your different outfits? Will you have different guests or a restricted list for one ceremony vs. the other? If you have a different venue, you may need to arrange transportation or allow for an additional day.

Again - both partners may not have knowledge of how each ceremony works, it’s important again to research and put together ceremonies that speak for both of you. You’ll want to communicate and walk through how you envision “your” ceremony, and for your partner to communicate their views on “their” ceremony as well. 

An example

For my own wedding, we did back-to-back Hindu & Christian ceremony, modified to our liking with some blended cultural elements. Overall our goal was to have both cultures and religions represented in one event, and though we faced some conflicts we were able to find both a Hindu and Christian officiant that would work with our particular demands and a church that was accommodating as well. We each wore our own cultural attire - my husband John wore traditional attire from his Edo heritage, while I opted for more modern Indian attire. To add some Nigerian culture into the Hindu-Indian wedding portion, we used a coral necklace in place of a mangalsutra. Coral jewelry has a major significance in Nigerian weddings, and a mangalsutra is a traditional necklace of gold with black beads given to the bride from the groom in Indian culture - and signifies marriage much like rings do in Western culture.

Coming up: dealing with family input…