It’s hard to imagine a Big, Fat, Cultural Wedding during these pandemic times. However, here are some stories behind the choice to proceed, downsize, and/or reschedule to a later date! As plans may still questionable for 2021, I hope this series of stories will give you ideas or inspiration on how to deal with the situation in the new year.

Mariah & Didier

Mariah was my awesome wedding photographer (Mariah Joy Photography), who has become a good friend. As it ended up, we unexpectedly got to celebrate a bit with her and Didier the evening Didier proposed in December 2019! Mariah was so ecstatic and started planning things right away, and as a photographer she really cared about the aesthetics of everything. What was most important to them as a couple was creating an event that would represent both of them and their cultures, and that they would create a unique memory for their guests. In Didier’s Congolese culture, food is really important and he also really wanted a space with lush, green grass. For Mariah, photography and a picture-perfect venue were her top priorities. Their wedding date was set for September 2020, then, everything changed.

Deciding to make a change was very tough, but because they felt ready and they were both so certain about marrying each other - they wanted to start their lives together! Because of Mariah & Didier’s shared faith, they didn’t live together before the wedding and they couldn’t imagine waiting an unpredictable amount of time to start doing things as a team and preparing for their future. They also felt that if attendance of much of their family and friends would be questionable, why not just have an intimate ceremony earlier on! So - they actually set a date sooner than they had planned - for May 31, 2020!

The hardest thing about moving forward with their new plans was accepting the fact that some of their family members would miss the wedding. Most of Didier’s family lives in Congo (DRC), and Mariah’s sister Rebekah and her husband Jonathan were living in China and their situation was unpredictable. Mariah never imagined getting married without her big sister present, but she also knew Didier was making a large sacrifice without any of his immediate family present. So they made their COVID wedding plan - downsized, scratched almost all the vendors, and decided to have an intimate ceremony and picnic at a perfect waterfall about an hour away from the Twin Cities. As a photographer, Mariah got really excited about how beautiful this would be and they sorted out the details.

Then George Floyd was murdered, riots took place, curfews were introduced - and even more uncertainty was in the air about the weekend. At this point - just a day before the wedding, Mariah’s parents felt that trying to carry out an event out-of-town would be a bit too stressful on everyone. This was very devastating for Mariah especially since they didn’t go through with their dream venue, and now they wouldn’t go through with their dreamy waterfall locale. Then Didier suggested a gazebo they bike by often - but at the time Mariah was too emotional to hear it. Mariah’s friend Tina offered to drive Mariah around to scope out possibilities, and then purely by coincidence, Mariah’s father also suggested the same gazebo!

As it turned out, the gazebo was private association property - but with some door knocking, emails, & the kindness of strangers - they had a new wedding plan within the day! Also - because there was green grass in this location, it made Didier really happy - and seeing him happy about the location got Mariah to love it too.

It’s crazy to imagine that the girl who couldn’t stop crying just 12 hours prior, could not stop smiling the very next day! Seeing all her joyous pictures afterwards I couldn’t even believe the whole story! The moment she loved the most on their wedding day was walking down the aisle with her Dad, seeing her future husband in front of her, and knowing, “This is it.” She couldn’t believe it was actually real. The story of how it all came together became the most memorable part of the day - and Mariah loved how everything was actually spontaneous - because that’s so her! A lot of random elements made the day special - Mariah’s mom had made cardboard cutouts of Bekah and Jonathan (Mariah’s sis and bro-in-law) and she was holding them during the ceremony and they had recorded a song that the couple could enjoy over zoom. Mariah’s friend Tina sprinkled white rose petals all around the ceremony space. Didier’s aunt started making the African ululations and danced around them after the ceremony, then all those present headed to Mariah’s parents’ backyard for an outdoor “reception”. There was no DJ, no caterer. All the food was homemade/storebought and wrapped in saran wrap (to be COVID-safe)! They did splurge on photography/videography - but cut back on everything else, even using a $20 dress that Mariah had originally intended for a photoshoot. One thing they were still able to have despite all the changes, was to have tablecloths, cloth napkins, a wrap for the bouquet, and Didier’s pocket square and bowtie sewn out of fabric Mariah had brought from Tanzania - due to loving efforts from Mariah’s mother and grandmother. However, their DIY floral plans backfired, as many local spots were closed or boarded up, so Mariah’s mother gathered up some wildflowers and flowers from neighbors to help make the small celebration beautiful. The couple was also blessed with random spectators and well-wishers from the neighborhood.

Despite their struggles, despite COVID, they had a beautiful celebration filled with joy and love, and their day was still uniquely their own.

Mariah & Didier are still hoping to have some form of a larger celebration/reception in MN late this year, but it all depends on how things go and if Didier’s family could travel here from Congo. Another option is to have a second wedding celebration in Congo instead!

Total in attendance: 14

Budget: under $5000

Photography & Video: Brianna Lane Photography

Makeup: LHNBEAUTY

Venue: Private Property